The feeling of being used

This feeling does not only apply to me, i am definitely sure that this problem is quite common throughout the world. A time where you voluntarily do something for that special someone. I don't expect anything physical in return... only if shed appreciate my work. Having done so many things, so much time put into the assignments and work. I don't care how much work i do, to be honest... The only thing i'm looking for is appreciation and gratitude in return...

I helped my special someone with her 2000 word mini essay... i pretty much did the whole thing. All i want from her is her kindness and appreciation.... However.... i did not get those.... after a long chat with her... i felt i was being used.... and... i ignored her.... she asked for forgiveness... however, i told her i wont forgive her until she finds out the true reason....

Heart Broken atm....

Female psychology

Every female in this world are unique in their own ways, how they dress, how they speak, slang, interest and many others. But they all have one thing in common.... 6th sense. Is it true that they are able to sense when a guys like her? I thought hard and long at this question.

Eventually, having enough headache, during my morning shift @ sushi dream, i asked the supervisor at that time. I asked her (a mother of a young boy, also claimed to be popular during her schooling days) whether it is true that females possesses this amazing spiritual power. Apparently, when she was younger, she always had the ability to sense the guy's attitude towards her. "One look in the eye says it all"

When i was eating lunch with my uni friends, i asked my best female friend the 6th sense question. She said she doesn't have it, she also said that more than half of the time she guessed wrong. Somehow, i did not believe that, and asked myself....Can i trust her? And.. the next question is.... When do you trust/not trust a female?

Well....... i'm just confused... I will just have to be around her to find out more ^^

Mid semester over, happy yet unhappy

Having the mid semester exam over, within i felt overjoy. I reckon that i did well. Having my grades jumping from a C in highschool to a Distinction or High Distinction in Uni is a huge success. However, on the friday 23rd of April, i had the last exam for the mid semester, cell biology. It was pretty hard, i must admit. Anyway, i got my quiz result back. I got 25.5/30 for the quiz which accounts for 15% overall result, after the conversion i got 12.75%/15%.

Well.... still chasing after that *amazing girl*.. she came out a minute or two after i finished. Looking as if she failed... I didn't know how to react. I looked at her score, she seemed sad, but personally... i think her score is amazing, considering how she never did any biology, chem etc etc any sorts of science ever at high school.

Anyway, during the bus ride back home. I asked her out (to cheer her up), but rejected, not surprised actually.. Since she was as down as she can ever be. So i thought to give her some time alone to think about her next move. On saturday night, once again i asked her out (for studying purposes). However, once again i was rejected....

Eventually, on the same night, i told her how she rejected me multiple times. Her reply worries me heaps. She seemed to have been rejecting everyone that asks her out (assuming its the truth) due to her being depressed. Ill try my best to help you with your academic studies, like i promise =D so do not worry too much.

Mood: Mixed

Transition into uni

Finally, the time to wave goodbye to my high school uniform and say YESSS to university life......

Goals for 2010

1) Get a group of friends that actually study
2) Hopefully get a girlfriend.... i dont intend to change once i get one.

22nd March, orientations, man how long i waited for this day, a day to make new friends! So i waited outside the orientation theatre, observing all the other students. I will approach them if:

1) they are isolated (no one to talk to)
2) Doesnt look shady

Not long before the orientation started, i introduced myself to this asian guy which is currently my best friend (Naoya), he is from Yamanashi which is located in... *snare drum rollingggggg* JAPAN! wooh... how i wanted a good japanese friend.

Anyway, this year im doing Bachelor of Science (biological and ecological conservation), for semester one, im doing cell biology, chem, language comm and applied maths as courses. Into week 4, the pressure finally started to build up. Struggling to understand the concept for chem and bio.

Im tired.......

*THE END* =D

This Amazing Girl

Into a few weeks of uni... as listed on my previous goal, looking for a girl friend. I know it sounds disgusting to some, but ill post it anyway, guess thats how desperate i am. During lecture and tutorials, i kind of look around different girls and observe their personality and try to identify their traits by just looking. But, my condition was that there must be eye contact between us before i will make any move.

Finally, on the 18th of March, last thursday. I found this really nice girl in my maths tutorial room. Her smile was simply amazing, so i made my move. I walked her to her first workshop, and i went on home, it was like the best feeling in the world, for that week..... Then on Tuesday, Heaven granted me my wish. After my Cell Biology Lecture, i hang out with her from 9am to 5.30pm-ish. The initial plan was to watch Dear John at the cinemas, but the screening time wasnt in our favor, so we just walk back and forth on Queens Street Mall. I enjoyed every second of the moment she was by my side, it's a day i will treasure in my heart for a very long time.

The next day (wednesday), i did some biology revision with her in the library. Everytime i looked at her smile, i feel like caring for her even more....... i never cared for anyone else like how i cared for her.

Just today, i had the same maths lecture as her.... i sat down at the front hoping she would notice me and sit next to me. Unfortunately for me, she walked pass me without noticing, until she came to the front (assuming her friend told her im in front). That moment, i wasnt happy, but im not miserable. Later today, i waited for her outside her workshop at 4pm, which was supposedly when the workshop finished. She walked out... and passed me without noticing me again... Now im at the city, blogging and being emo, sort of feel like crying as well.. lols...

Anyway, some of you that read this might laugh at this, some of you might think that im sweet or so. Now that im feeling this way, im not sure what I should do, give up? or keep trying? Now i feel like being alone for the rest of the week. If the girl i was referring to read this, i'm sorry, i dont know what to do.... I'll make my move after the exam... give her some space and time. Guess ill just have to keep trying and dont overdo anything

Condition: *hopeful*

*END*